When I was but a wee lad in the mountains of west virginia, i was cooking some beans in camp when i suddenly heard a noise. I went to investigate and lo and behold i witnessed a 9ft tall brown furry apeman looting my tent. I quickly sprung to action and whipped him with my whip named dorothy (thats another story). He roared at me, batted me into a tree 12ft or so up, when i awoke my sweet lorraine was gone, i speculated the bigfoot took her, but i still dont know to this day. I had a broken rib and shoulder blade, but i know what i say, it still haunts me to this day.